Coragem!

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” Lao Tzu

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Mulher Resolvida!

"Joshua Tree awakens the human identity and gives the individual a distinct awareness of this awakening. I have repeatedly noted a very real phenomenon in the subtle bodies when this flower essence is being used. There is a cohesion of forces that result in a new consciousness of the Self. It is a quality of being "centered" as well as moving from the inside "outward" so that one's life becomes fuller and more self-directed."

I believe in faith, tolerance, and love; but most importantly, I believe in restoration of all three! I don’t seek miracles because they have an end, but instead, I seek wisdom as it is a factory that stays alive within me always. I am no longer a work in progress–I am progressing! I am no longer attempting to self-actualize my life based on authors or scholars, but I am working under a new, more meaningful premise—me! I am following my own guidelines that were established through pages of reading, years of experience, and an insurmountable amount of renewed self-trust. What remains now is a me that believes in the power of people, the power of learning, the power of teaching, and the power of me; self-efficacy– a by-product of self-reflection and a social construct –has empowered me to increase my momentum and it is serving as a catalyst for the effort I put forth each hour of each day. And now I feel like telling the world everything, for no other reason except that I just want to. I don’t need to, I do not feel a sense of entitlement nor do I feel anyone is entitled. I just want to. Call it a Meredith Grey moment.

I like people that have the courage to speak the truth even when it hurts. The others are just mere imitations artfully put together to entertain, or perhaps even destroy, the notion that we can actually trust one another. I am tired of being patient with people that really just don’t deserve it. I live in the real world, not in a movie or storyline, and my story is my story, not yours. Don’t write it, don’t talk about it, and forget everything except the lessons. My lesson is that of the Little Engine that Could as he mumbles “I think I can, I think I can” while tugging his way and pulling a very heavy load. I read that book when I was very young, and it remains the cornerstone of my waking thoughts. I think I can, therefore I can. I want to, therefore I will try. I will try and hope for success. And should I fail again well then, I will start the process over, and over, and over until I reach my destination. Maybe I never will. Life is a cycle of unending events that breed failure, but to refuse acceptance and keep moving forward requires nothing more than courage. Each morning I wake up and realize that I do, in fact, have a heart full of courage. I am not a cowardly lion, but a tough thouroughbred destined for a win. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but timing is irrelevant at this point.

I believe in love, and yes, I do have mustard seed faith ( an appropriate biblical reference) and mulberry tree problems with roots that grow deep under the surface searching for water and refuge. But still, I have planted my seed and I am watching it grow to encapsulate all the stink of the world as yet  again it still proves to be prosperous. I forgot about my seed for what seemed like an eternity, and I was reminded one beautiful autumn morning while driving to work. There in the car I listened to a motivational type radio show, and as life promises, I was surprised to remember my seed. It was still there, never lonely, always waiting and hoping for my return. Even my seed had faith. Faith  in me.

I like to discuss the social aspects of mankind; why we do what we do. I like to discuss preemptive emotional situations and proactive responses; I am a by-product of an Oprah/Dr. Phil generation with a touch of Chelsey lately to add just the right amount of sarcasm to a serious yet profound discussion of reality. Let’s face it; there are moments when situations are just so absurd that they are laughable. There are moments when I am a sort of misanthrope, yet I continue on hoping to rid myself of those unwanted feelings.

There are absolutely no uneventful situations in my life as each moment holds a key to another door, another lesson, another ending, or another beginning. Everything has meaning and everything is eventful. This is my choice. I like searching for meaning and discovering new perspectives as this epitomizes who I am and it is indicative of my curious nature. I see curiosity as a gift that will never really disappoint as it endeavors to uncover layers that are capable, incapable, beautiful, ugly, and everything else in between. Life is a lesson, people are not. People do not really teach lessons. There is a difference because we can choose to learn from people, but life sometimes does not offer us a choice, only a coping mechanism. And those people that try to teach lessons (I am not talking about art or language), and yes I can include myself here, are simply out of their league.

And so today I accept the past for what it was, the present for what it is, and the future for what it will be because this is my choice.  You can choose your role. I am entering a new phase in my life and I hope to carry all that I have learned in the past to a very bright today and an even brighter tomorrow. I have a new motivation now, and she will be  here soon! Eu sou uma mulher resolvida e isso exige coragem. Simplemente assim!

Courage my Soul, now learn to wield
The weight of thine immortal Shield.
Close on thy Head thy Helmet bright.
Ballance thy Sword against the Fight.
See where an Army, strong as fair,
With silken Banners spreads the air.
Now, if thou bee’st that thing Divine,
In this day’s Combat let it shine:
And shew that Nature wants an Art
To conquer one resolved Heart.
(from A. Marvell’s A Dialogue Between the Resolved Soul, And Created Pleasure)